


Hello Brooklyn, how you doin'?

by Nikkina



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:52:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikkina/pseuds/Nikkina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony trolls Bucky. As expected, it ends badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello Brooklyn, how you doin'?

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love the Avengers, okay? I'll try to fit everybody in the next one. <3
> 
> Title from Tony's new favorite song, of course.

Tony, who even after the Mandarin incident has a startling lack of self-preservation instinct, starts playing "Hello Brooklyn" every time Bucky enters the common area. Steve is familiar with this particular hazing tactic. After all, when he first came to live in the tower, Stark had played the Captain America theme song almost non-stop. Until Steve had, in a regrettable moment of fury, put his fist through a wall, that is.

The problem is that Bucky is still more likely to put his fist through Tony than the wall.

To everyone's surprise, though, Bucky takes the unofficial theme song in stride. Or, really, he just seems to ignore it altogether. Of course Stark takes this as his cue to turn things up a notch.

"Great playlist, am I right?" Tony says in the kitchen one day, leaning against the far corner with a glass of amber liquid in his hand. Bucky is sitting at the table, pouring over some files for their next mission. Steve had printed them and is still printing the copies for himself, which leaves him exactly four strides too far away to intervene. Everyone holds their breath.

"Mm," Bucky grunts noncommittally, without even looking up from his work.

Tony's grin deflates, and given how disappointed he looks maybe Steve won't even have to give him a talking-to later. Maybe.

Actually, considering how the grin has been replaced with a scheming look -- Tony's most dangerous expression -- maybe more than a talking-to is in order.

\--------------------------------------------------------

"I need your advice."

Steve finds Natasha in the training room, where she's working her way through a complex set of kicking and dodging maneuvers. She doesn't pause, but raises an eyebrow to signal she's listening.

"It's Tony." Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Look, I know I'm not the boss of anyone, especially when we're in our... quarters. And this is Tony's house, he can do what he wants."

When he pauses, trying to find the words, Natasha prompts: "But."

"But this thing with Bucky, it has to stop. It isn't safe. And I've tried talking to Tony about it, but you know. He never listens to me."

"Tony never listens to anyone," Natasha says with a smirk. She straightens up, the maneuvers finished. "If you want my advice, I got him to stop greeting me with 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' by leaving a few thousand of them in his bed."

Steve gives her a look.

"Harmless, I promise. But there's also an angle you haven't considered."

"Which is?" 

This time, it's Natasha who levels her gaze.

"Maybe you should let Bucky handle this one for himself."

Steve is about to protest, but by the time he can get the words out she's already gone, and he's left arguing to himself like an idiot.

\-------------------------------------------------------

There are a few problems with leaving the situation to Bucky. For one, Bucky isn't exactly great at knowing what he wants. Or saying what he means. Or generally interacting with the other inhabitants of the tower, to be honest.

"I still haven't heard the guy speak," Clint says one afternoon, reverently polishing an arrow while perched on the back of the sofa. "I mean, it's up to him, right? But I've never worked with anyone without at least knowing their favorite type of pizza. Personal rule."

Steve frowns. "It's anchovy."

Clint points the arrow at him. "It was anchovy. Now, who the hell knows?"

Steve doesn't say anything to that, probably because he has no idea what to say. Luckily, Clint fills the silence. "Anyway, he talks to you. So I'm counting on you to keep me on his pizza-related good side."

Steve resists rolling his eyes. "I'll try my best."

\-------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Buck?" Steve says the next night, when they're relaxing in Tony's unused study.

Bucky looks up from the book he's reading, face blank. "What?"

"What kind of pizza do you like?"

"I don't know." His expression never changes. He stares at Steve for a long moment, and then goes back to his book.

Steve doesn't sigh, but only because Sam has told him a thousand times not to pressure Bucky, not to force him to remember, not to be disappointed when he doesn't. He does report back to Clint, though, to tell him that as far as pizza is concerned, he's on his own.

\-------------------------------------------------------

The whole thing comes to a head on a Wednesday, because even supervillains are too world-weary to stage anything in the middle of the week and so everyone is relaxing in the common room, enjoying the peace and quiet that comes with a rare day off.

Peace and quiet, that is, until Bucky wanders in, and Tony makes a strange, sudden motion in the kitchen, and all hell breaks loose.

The radio edit of "Hello Brooklyn" has been replaced by a dubstep remix apparently of Tony's own design, and the common room lights dim to accommodate the rainbow laser lights that suddenly flash across the ceiling in time to the music.

"TONY!" Steve tries to scold, but it's completely drowned out by the thudding bass. Natasha barely blinks an eye, Clint looks a little dizzy, and Bucky is... mesmerized? Yes, Bucky is leaning against the door, watching the lights flash with a vaguely impressed look on his face. 

The show ends as suddenly as it began, and Tony throws out his hands expectantly. 

"Nothing?" he says after a beat. "Really? I knew I should have added robots, I thought it would be overkill but no, definitely robots."

Bucky blinks, once. "Are you talkin' to me?"

Tony's so shocked he actually puts his hands down. "What? What? Yes I'm talking to you, who the hell else would I be talking to, I play this song every time you come into the room."

Bucky shrugs. "I just assumed ya were playin' it to annoy Steve, on account'a he makes that face every time ya do."

Steve is, indeed, making That Face. If he were Bruce, he would probably be green by now.

Tony throws his hands back into the air. "I give up, all right, I give up. I watch the security feeds for weeks playing that song because my own A.I. won't help me, and he doesn't even realize. 'Are you talkin' to me,' he says. Jesus."

"To be fair," Bucky drawls, "All your modern music sounds the same to me, y'know. I might not've even realized it was the same song. Could'a been that Metallicize or Purple Floyd you listen to."

Tony yelps, and there's a sudden beat of silence. Then he narrows his eyes. "No no no, wait a second. You're messing with me."

Bucky lets a slow grin spread across his face.

"Oh my god! You're actually messing with me!" Tony crows. "Ice Age 2 has a sense of humor!" He leans over and claps Bucky on the back, hard.

And if the sudden motion makes Bucky move on instinct and, in one smooth motion, toss Tony straight through the kitchen wall?

Well, the rest of the team can't exactly blame him.


End file.
